Day #8

"Being grateful for every little thing"

We celebrated Christmas again today with my brother and his family. What a wonderful day we had. Max was content for most of the day, although he was not interested in the sausage pizza. He was fascinated by his cousins bunk beds, he likes to jump off of them. The deep pressure when he jumps is a feeling he has loved since he was very small. I have spent many years doing joint compressions with him, it seems to calm him more than other things I have tried over time. If you'd like to know what they are and the order in which they are done, I'll gladly share, just let me know.

I was driving home tonight, amazed at the overall calmness of the day, Max only had one small melt down during our Christmas party when he snapped himself in the face with a rubber lizard tail he'd been playing with all morning. It was relatively short lived compared to many other melt downs. Most melt downs last for hours so a short one is one I can be grateful for. I am finding that being grateful for every little thing is easier than being discouraged by the things that don't go right.

I've seen so much worry, panic, saddness, depression and fear in this journey, in my life and that of many of my friends that have autistic children. Beyond that I see a new perception of life, a new appreciation for the simplist of things. For me it seems as though the things that ruin the day of most people don't even affect me.
People get angry at other drivers for driving to slow or cutting them off, but not me. People get annoyed waiting in long lines at the grocery store, but not me. Being put on hold, being stuck behind a train, getting a flat tire, noisey neighbors, just doesn't bother me. I have learned in this life whats really important, whats worth getting upset over and whats not. I can smile at the cashier if they have to get a price check and I have to wait.
Max went to sleep before midnight tonight, for that I am thankful because tomorrow he may not sleep at all. I'm thankful for his sweet glances at me, for almost a year he didn't even look at me. It is nice to know that he sees me again. I am gratful for the furniture I sit on, 3 years ago I didn't even have a kitchen table. I am thankful for this day because I spent it with family that care, and that want to understand autism. Today I didn't feel like I had to do it alone.

Until tomorrow.......