Day # 32

The "P.O.S."


There is much to say of the "Power of Suggestion" ... whether it be from someone else, or a suggestion you put in your mind.... all by yourself.
It amazes me and embarrasses me how much one touch, one glance, one spoken word, can take my mind to a place, that in the real world would never really exist.
My most recent encounter with the "P.O.S." led me to the intrigue of a much younger man. Being single for nearing a decade has given me a lot of time to create these perfect fairytales in my mind. I am always wishing for the possibility that one of them could manifest itself in real time.
Recently I noticed this sweet, much younger man, 29 years to my 42. I was a cougar for about a minute.... NOT a good look for me.
He was so sweet and gave great hugs.... always touching my arm or my back, standing closer to me than anyone else would. All these sweet nothings, helped me to create a fantasy full of sweet somethings that I could not escape.
Ultimately I got the nerve to push the envelope to see what would happen. He said everything I wanted to hear and reacted the way I wanted him to react.... the "P.O.S." was unleashed.
I found myself doing and saying things that I would have... in a normal state of mind, kept to myself.
I thought I was cool, didn't look desperate, didn't reveal any of my spazzy ideas... at least I don't think I did.
ANYWAY... we made plans, for some ridiculous reason I thought it would be a smart idea to go get tattoos together, he agreed. The day we were to go do this, he blew me off. I didn't talk to him for about a week. I wasn't hurt, but rather annoyed. At my age, a man should say, "I'm not interested" not just stand you up ya know? We're not 14. So I reeled in my budding maddness and realized this was not something that would have been a good idea for many reasons. It would take a long time to write them all, so I won't.
I think this.... although the power of suggestion is pretty mighty, its possible to fight it off. As you get older you develop alot of insight into relationships and ultimately you come to realize what you really want, even if you never find it. Just as important, you realize what you DON'T want.
Take it from me..... if you let that pesky ole thing called the "P.O.S." take control....... you could end up with a tattoo you can never get rid of..... I almost did.

Until tomorrow.....