Day #24

Ok.... lets try this again.
Its been a long time... my week or so turned into months, sorry. But I've been writing in my trusty notebook for days so I'll put as many of them down here today as I can... I have one hour.
This has been a day that will probably go down in my history as one of the most embarrassing days of my 40 years, and believe me there have been many. I think I honestly found out today what real exhaustion really means, I always thought I knew but now I KNOW I do.
I don't remember what time I finally went to sleep last night but amazingly did get up on time to get the boys off to school. I came back home and sat down in the living room, my day off... a day to regroup. I fell asleep, I never do that, at least not on purpose. I woke up to the alarm going off at 11:30. I had forgotten that I had already taken the kids to school, in my mind we had overslept. I peeked in the room where Max had fell asleep and he wasn't there, so I looked in the bathroom.. not there either.. PANIC takes over. I realize the front door is locked so I thought, OH MY GOSH, he got out and couldn't get back in. I looked out the back door, he wasn't there where he usually plays, by then my heart was in my stomach and my whole body was shaking, I could barely breathe, or think straight. I went running through the yard screaming his name, over and over and over, no answer. Terror took over, everything that I always feared was happening. I ran back inside to look again, and it hit me..... You dummy, you already took them to school.
For the rest of the day I was shaken up, the thought of that really happening has always been so frightening to me. Thankfully I lived it, but it wasn't really happening. I am certain of a couple things now.... my neighbors without a doubt must think I am totally out of my mind, my dogs think I'm nuts, and exhaustion is NOT a pleasant thing.
Until tomorrow....